Going, Going, Gone

Day 20

Day 20 and I continue to be blessed with a sense of well being. The truth is, that I feel exceptionally well, and exceptionally happy. I can only attribute this wonderful sensation to prayers that I know are being offered on my behalf. There is no other explanation.

After toying with me for about a week, my hair literally fell out in my hands in the shower today. Thankfully, I was prepared with scarves, and various other types of head coverings. I must admit that the sight of my hair, coming out in chunks, was fascinating, almost mesmerizing, as I ran my hands through my once think mane, and came away with more, and more of my coal black locks. By the time I finished showering, I had hair piled up on the ledge. Brushing it into the wastebasket, I watched as it filed nearly to the brim. Looking in the mirror afterwards, I was surprised at the detachment I felt. I was only hair after all, and shockingly, I don’t think it will be as hard to get used to as I thought.

The upside to finally saying goodbye to my hair is this; shower time will be greatly reduced, I have visible proof that the chemo should be working, and I no longer have to worry about loosing my hair. Over, done with, finished. I only wonder now what it will be replaced with when it returns. Maybe straight, and blond, or red? I am pretty amazed at how little it really seems to matter now that it is done. Like so many other things in life, I think the anticipation, and dread, was worse than the reality. It was much better, much easier, than I had imagined.