Day 38

Day 38

Day 34 caught me by surprise, as the malaise, that for the last two weeks had been my companion, seemed to fade to something much more tolerable. Out of nowhere, what resembled a normal energy level miraculously returned. It was about time. As far as I was concerned, two or three days of downtime was about as much as I was hoping to give up each cycle, and the exhaustion this round, had far exceeded my self-imposed goal for rebounding.

And so, with more energy than I had had in two weeks, I did the only thing that made sense, and took a much too expensive trip to the warehouse store. I returned home, determined to use my energy flash to cook as much food as possible before it faded. Before I knew it, I had chicken poaching, beef browning, and pasta boiling.  Meatloaf, lasagna, baked ziti, broccoli and chicken casserole, Johnny Marzetti, and Italian sausage with rigatoni and white sauce were wrapped, labeled, and hurried into the freezer. In a frenzy, I had assembled a dozen meals that were then packed away in the freezer for another day when I might not have it in me to cook. It was a satisfying feeling to know that my comfort foods were tucked away, and ready if I needed them. Just heat, and eat, no fuss no muss. What a relief.

It would be day 37 before I recovered from that exercise. Live and learn. I am committed to doing what I can when I can and not beating myself up about it if I don’t have the energy or desire to complete a task. Today’s goals were partially achieved, and that’s quite all right with me. A little at a time, inch by inch; this may be a game of four steps forward and three steps back, but it will still be forward progress. I’ll take it, and relish it, because no one knows what next week will bring. On tap are follow up scans, and the beginning of cycle three. It’s amazing how quickly these three week cycles are rolling by. I am trusting that my results will be positive. I believe that’s half the battle.